Boys are Trouble

And they start young. . . . my son is only 20 months old and he is driving us nuts.

Now lets start with how I dealt with my two daughters years ago. Put up gate - child stopped. Child cries. Put child in front of Sesame Street – all is well and child does not move until show is over. . . Child moves – put in new show. . .

Now for the boy. . . .. This kid should be a combat engineer. He can get over, under, around or through anything we put in his way.

Gate in the door way, scale gate and try to go over. Grunt (thank God he doesn't know sound travels) as you climb and get caught and put in front of the TV (or toy). Wait for parent to go back to doing something and go back to the gate - push the chair up to it and go over. Parent takes chair away - find toy big enough to climb and repeat. . . .

Gate with bars so you can’t get a foot hold? No problem, clime the couch, up to the cat tree and over. . . . Take away the cat tree? Couch to top of gate and over. . . . (smile at parents with look of "you make this too easy"/"that is all you got?")

Telephone out of reach, Pull on cord so you can get handset. Get caught when handset hits floor and put in front of TV(or other toy). Wait for parent to stop watching (see above) and push over chair, toy or other step so you can climb to phone height and bingo! You are at the phone. Tired of Mom and Dad using it? Turn off the ringer so they can’t hear it then you get all the parent time you want. . . .

Have I mentioned that he doesn’t talk yet? No need I guess as he gets most of what he want – on his own if needed. . . .

This is like living a big game of chess. Every road block I have come up with has only been temporarily with him. He comes up to the “new” road block, tries the old trick which does not work. . . OK, sits down and stares at the new problem. You can smell the smoke (and an occasional gear stripping) as he works out how to get over/under/around/through the problem. Finds solution then waits for parent to stop watching. . . .

I am slowly loosing the war of attrition to a 20 mo old. I can’t come up with obstacles as fast as he figures them out. . . . I wish someone had warned me about Boys. . . The two daughters had me totally fooled that I knew a bit about what I was doing as a parent. . . For those of you that watch Family Guy I think I am living with Stuie. . . He even has the "I am going to take over the world" look down.

I am so screwed. . . .