Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Respect for me and you. . .

This post was inspired by a few things that have happened over the last few days. . . Starting with the great report on us gunnies from Lissa you can find here and a few things that happened at Karate last night. It is a longer post based on the one I hammered out quickly a few posts ago.

Now I am a martial artist. By that I mean that I have spent years studying karate (like 16+ years) a couple of years of Tai Chi, and shooting (like 25+ years). I have spent a good number of years of my life learning all the icky things most liberals in MA hate and think are evil. Somehow the modern liberal seems to think martial arts are bad and make us into crazed killers (just look at their reactions to folks that shoot). They will ask “ Why would you want to learn that?” and “What good is it? You want to hurt someone?” As I thought about things it really hit me. What is it about folks that they don’t seem to have any respect for other people? Not only don’t they have respect, but sometimes they are surprised that others will show them respect. So many folks seem lost in their own self centered world these days and I think that causes a lot of the problems we have today. The other thing that hit me is most true martial artist I have met don’t have this problem. . . they want to teach me thing and learn from me so we can both become better people in the end. That is one critical thing, we both grow, not what can I take from you without giving back, it is how do we both gain and learn. . . . why isn’t this the normal way of thinking???

I think knowing a martial art leads one to have more respect for oneself and to have more good old fashion respect for others too. If you have not read Lissa's post on learning to shoot then go do that now and come back, I’ll be here. . . .

OK, done reading it? Good.

Now what does she mention? How all these gun folks were respectful of each other, careful and all around acted like grown ups and gentlemen and gentlewomen. Why do so many folks not into martial arts find this suppressing? This is not the first time I have heard this reaction although she had one of the best explanations I have seen in long time. It is sad that folks get surprised that we watch out for each other and try to share what we know with each other without thinking “OK, what do I get out of this. . .”

I already mentioned a bit about what I have seen and heard myself here but I will go over it again. Our karate school shares our building with a drama club. We both rent space in the building, Us on the top floor and them on the bottom with a common lobby and rest rooms. I have seen the post from their teacher listing all the great folks she has taught and claims to fame in NY and the left coast. . . she comes across in this write up as totally full of herself. I also know that she does nothing to help keep the common areas clean. My teachers get to clean the rest rooms so they don’t reflect badly on her school, she also redid the lobby, as in fixed the walls (full of holes from drama posters) and repainted them and redid the wood floor. Within weeks of finishing this work (which she did over a few weeks) the theater folks have put all the posters back up putting holes in the walls again and someone even put a big dent (knocking out plaster) in one wall. She left NO room for the karate school to post anything – heck, you would not even know we were there. Talk about selfish and self centered. . ..

My daughters use to take dance lessons. The few times I met the teacher she had an air of arrogance that I could feel. She always ran the class over 5 to 10 minutes and just expected the parents to sit and wait. Hey, sure, not like we may have other kids or commitments we need to get to right? What could be more important than her? I was usually the one to pick up the kids and I can tell you that this teacher never said a thing such as sorry we ran over or anything else. . . if she did come out of class it was to get a payment from us for the next month. I guess it was all about her. She finally pushed me too far when she booked an all afternoon dress rehearsal that the kids had to be at or they could not go to the recital. . . . . On Fathers Day. . . . ya, no one makes plans to do family things on Fathers Day – good thinking there. Glad your head can still fit through the door. . ..

And we have all see the way folks drive. . . cutting folks off in traffic, won’t let folks change lanes, won’t let that truck move over.. . . . it goes on and on. . .

Folks you all need to learn some good old fashion RESPECT. Now I know this will kill the liberal movement because that is all about telling me what I should and should not do and not having any respect for me or my ability to make my own choices. You know what, too bad. This liberal attitude of no respect and I should get it because it is OWED to me has got to go. . . .

I am getting to the point that I think we need to get back to teaching every kid some kind of martial art in school, from Karate to shooting, they should have some experience with it. They will learn respect that way. . . .When you reach the point that you know you have the power to hurt or kill someone or something you change. I think if you have learned things properly from a good teacher the knowledge that you have this power is more than a bit humbling and gives you a new view on the world. It is only then that you truly can respect how easy it is to hurt someone or worse. It is also a this time that you realize that so much crap we get all pissed at every day is just that, crap and not worth getting worked up over. You sure as hell learn that all that crap is not worth hurting or killing someone or getting hurt or killed over. I think it also takes your ego down a few notches to see how easy you can get hurt, and to lose a few times when sparing, or in a competition. You learn that you are not the best at everything and to get better you actually have to work for it. No one will hand you anything, you EARN it. You liberals should try it some time, there is nothing like the feeling of getting a thing or award that you actually earned, and I am not talking about today’s sports where all the kids get a trophy at the end just for showing up – that is worthless. Winning and loosing is required to learn about yourself it adds value to what you gain when you win, and teaches you how to do it better next time when you loose – not to mention not to give up when things don’t go your way.

Maybe I am just getting old or becoming more of a mush because I have kids but I find that by learning a martial art, and helping other to learn that art I have become more empathetic towards others. I can feel it when they get frustrated trying to learn something and I want to help them learn it. It is no longer about me being better than them it is about what I can teach them and what I can learn from them. You can learn something from everyone even if it is just to keep trying till you get it right. I get a bit more emotional about things such as someone getting hurt. I think it is because of my training – no, I know it is. I have gained a respect for how easy it is to get hurt and how big an impact that can have on your life. That makes you stop and think about things and it makes you a better person

To learn to respect and empathies with others by itself is worth the time taken to learn to shoot, or do some other martial art. It should be required to be a good citizen to know these things. If we all did, it would be a much different place. . . .

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dammit JD, I wish I had paid closer attention and knew all this before Sunday! Ugh. That's it. We need another shoot next week!

Excellent thoughts and particularly on Martial Arts in general. My son (who's 6), knows the four rules, has shot the .22, and has been taking Kenpo for about 8 months now.

More important than all that - is that he's learning respect. Still rough around the edges, but learning.

I did the Taekwondo thing a long time ago, and just jumped into Kenpo/jiujitsu myself just two months ago. I would have loved to pick your brain about it!

Next time, I say! Excellent post!

JD said...

Liberty

Thanks, I read all these blogs and think, man I gotta learn to write better. . .

hey, anything I can do to generate another meet is good with me. It was great meeting everyone. And I'll talk martial arts any time. Good luck with the Kenpo/Jiujitsu. I am not very familiar with it. I have done Shotokan and Uechi Ryu for Karate.

Great to hear your kid is getting into martial arts. Just make sure he has fun with it. That seems the secret to long term martial artists I have met, they all do it for fun too. . .

= )

zeeke42 said...

"they want to teach me thing and learn from me so we can both become better people in the end"

That's the key thing about being a good instructor. My friend Jim Conway is a defensive handgun instructor, and he embodies this principle. He's at the club every week and happy to give a little free instruction to people who want it. He enjoys helping people learn, and that it happens to be the best advertising possible for his paid classes is just a fortunate side affect.

His sig line quotes trainer Jim Crews: "Sometimes an instructor, always a student." That's the key to being a good teacher. Don't just pontificate from on high, be willing to learn from your students too.

Jeff/jar/zeeke42

Anonymous said...

Those are Japanese styles, correct? The Kenpo/Jiujitsu thing is really interesting. There's a heavy focus on self-defense with this school - lots of grappling, and bending places that aren't meant to be bent on your attacker. I particularly enjoy learning how to defend against knife and/or gun confrontations.

And what grown man doesn't want to play with nunchuks once in awhile. :-)

And note that a pair of foam nunchuks with a string connecting them are illegal to ship into CA, NY and ... you guessed it ... MA.

My son loves it, I joined to have one of those Dad/Son things to do with him and it's great that I can ask a 6-year-old which way to turn in a given form and what move comes next. He likes that. A lot.

JD said...

Liberty - They are sort of. . .

Shotokan is thought of as Japanese but the founder was from Okinawa. Uechi Ryu also had a founder from Okinawa but learned his form in China and got famous teaching in Japan years later. . . .

Zeeke42. The best way to learn is to teach. . . you always learn bits that you missed when you have to show someone else how to do it. Sounds like your friend knows his stuff.